Fat Italian
by Stubborn Tomato
Summary: Once apon a time, there was an extremely fat, lazy Italian guy who ate pasta 24/7 and took siestas when he wasn't eating. What is this guy's name, you ask? His name is Feliciano Vargas, and this is his story..


This story is like REALLY random. And it's full of crack. Beware..

"FRATELLO~! I WANT SOME PASTA, CAN YOU MAKE IT FOR ME SINCE I CAN'T SEE MY FEET BECAUSE OF MY TRAMENDOUS ROLLS AND I DON'T WANT TO FALL AND NOT BE ABLE TO GET UP! SO CAN YOU? VEE~" Shouted Feliciano from the couch, looking like a huge potato.

"GET UP, GO OUTSIDE, AND EXERCISE, YOU FAT BASTARD!" Yelled Feliciano's fit, skinny, and attractive brother, Lovino, from the kitchen where he was currently washing some tomatoes.

"VEE~ I CAN'T GET UP THOUGH, FRATELLO!" The fat italian cried out.

"CALL YOUR DAMN POTATO BASTARD BOYFRIEND AND TELL HIM TO COME OVER AND TAKE YOU OUT OR SOMETHING!" Lovino shouted back then sighed, mummbling something about how he'd give the macho potato a bit of respect if he could manage to make his brother fit. Lovino sighed once more and continued to clean the tomatoes.

Feliciano dug around the cushions of the couch he was sitting on until he found what he was looking for; his cell phone. He flipped it open and called his German boyfriend, Ludwig Beilschmidt. Even though Ludwig didn't like expressing his feelings, he loved Feliciano greatly and would do anything he could for him, even if it was slightly impossible. After a couple a rings, Feliciano heard a deep 'Hello' from the other line.

"Ve~ Hi Ludwig! I was wondering if you could come over and we could go out and just hang for a while? How 'bout it Luddy~? Vee~" Feliciano said with a bit of excitement in his voice.

"Sounds good. I need to get away from Gilbert for awhile since he's in one of his 'I'm the awesomest person alive' moods and quite frankly, I do not want to deal with him. I will be over in a couple of minutes." Ludwig said, with a few sigh here and there.

"Yay! I can't wait! Ti amo, Luddy. Vee~" The fatty said contently.

".. Ich liebe dich." The potato said, hesitating before saying it with a small blush on his face.

Once they said they're 'I love yous", they hung up. Feliciano hummed happily, jiggling from side to side. In the quest for looking for his phone, he also found the remote to the t.v. He flipped through channel after channel until he came across the food channel. 'Man, I love food! Ve~' he thought, his mouth watering.

In the midst of watching the food channel and drooling all over himself, 10 minutes had passed and Ludwig was here. With too much fat around his ears and the t.v. putting him in a trace, Feliciano didn't hear the doorbell ring. On the other hand, Lovino did. Lovino put down the tomato he was currently washing and walked out of the kitchen and to the door, hoping it wasn't Antonio, his boyfriend. Bracing his self for a glomp to the ground, Lovino flung open the door and shut his eyes. He waited a few seconds before slowing opening them to his brother's boyfriend. Ludwig already knew why Lovino had done that, since he'd seen one of the attacks on the older Italian in person.

"Fatass is on the couch." Was all Lovino said before he walked back to the kitchen, determined to finish cleaning all the tomatoes before siesta time.

Ludwig gave a nod to Lovino's back and walked over to the living room to find his couch potato boyfriend. Once he spotted him, he squeezed himself next to Feliciano on the couch. Though all the jiggling that Feliciano's rolls had done when Ludwig sat down next to him, it still didn't remove the trance the t.v. had on him. Ludwig, curious as to why he was hugged yet, followed Feliciano's eyes to the t.v. which was showing how to make a delicious dessert. Ludwig sighed and looked around for the remote, which he found on the other side of his boyfriend. Ludwig reached around the humungious stomach to the side of him and grabbed the remote, turning off the t.v. when he had it in his grasp.

Once the t.v. screen went black, Feliciano let out a small whine followed by a small 'Ve~', no longer being in a trance. He used his extremely fat arm to wip the drool from his face and looked at the person next to him. Once Ludwig came into view (which took Feliciano a lot of wigglin' and jigglin') a creepy yet cute smile of happiness came across his face and he hugged his boyfriend with his chubby, short arms.

"Ready to go Luddy, vee~?" Feliciano asked after nearly sufficating his boyfriend with all his fat.

"Yes, but first, let me go and ask your brother where you wheelchair is." Ludwig said as he got up, trying to recover from all the fat he had in his face just seconds ago.

"Alright, but don't take to long! Vee~" Feliciano called out to Ludwig's retreating figure.

-

Ludwig walked into the kitchen, finding Lovino cleaning tomatoes. He didn't feel like getting yelled at, but he would have to deal with it. Ludwig sighed, hoping the older Italian wasn't in a bad mood.

"Uh, excuse me, Lovino?" Ludwig said, slight nervousness in his voice.

Lovino jumped at the sound of the German's voice and let out a small 'Chigi' and turned around.

"What do you want, potato?" Lovino said while glaring at the German.

"Can you tell me where Feliciano's wheelchair is? We are.. uh, going outside.." Ludwig sighed, wishing he wasn't so nervous when speaking to the moody Italian.

"Hallway closet." Was the simple answer Lovino gave. Ludwig nodded and turned to go and retrieve the wheelchair, but was stopped by a hesitatant 'Wait." Ludwig turned around to face Lovino and waited as told.

"Listen up, macho potato bastard. If you can manage to get my fatass brother to be fit and skinny and not a giant rollypolly, I'll respect you. That means I'll be nice, even if it kill me.." Lovino said firmly, no nervousness in his voice, just seriousness, as he held out his hand.

"That seems like a good idea. I will do all I can to make your brother and you happy." Ludwig said as he shook hands with Lovino. Once that was over, he walked out of the kitchen and down to the hallway closet to get the wheelchair. When the wheelchair was in his grasp, he pulled it out and unfolded it and wheeled it down the hall and to the couch, helping Feliciano into it.

'Gott, I really hope I'll be able to fulfill the request Lovino has given me..' Ludwig thought as he wheeled his lover out of the house and down to the park..


End file.
